StacyCat’s World of Thought

I am fat. I also am into BDSM.

Recently, there have been a couple of posts that I have read about this intersection.

First, Mollena writes the FatGirl Pervert Rants. See, at most BDSM educational events, there are demonstrations of techniques. And there is a call for demo bottoms. Of which, the majority tend to be smaller and younger women. The “scene” itself tends to be mostly older and average to larger individuals. Yet, we buy into the societal myth that younger and smaller is better, so we only see BDSM demonstrated on smaller individuals.

I happen to like fat BDSM. Our skin compresses differently in rope and bondage. Our fat jiggles in cool ways during impact play. We have lots of points that can be poked and pinched and bitten. And, of course, we have lots of skin and sensitive areas for those soft and fluffy scenes.

“But,” you might ask. “Arent there scenes that fat people cant do? Like, being suspended with rope?” Nope. This is a post that debunks the myths that fat people cannot be suspended. Granted, as a fat person who is into suspension, I want to know that the suspension rig will support my weight. Besides that, there is no reason why my fat ass cant be suspended (And, I have been, Twice, by the lovely Lolita

Ammre writes about how fat women are portrayed within the BDSM scene. And now it is us that can spread the message that, yes, fat women are in the scene, and yes, we have awesome bondage and impact and rope and other sadistic scenes. And we even have awesome sex!

I am sad that we live in a world that does not believe this.

Yes, I have fallen victim to this. I had a hard time accepting my changing body, and the sagging skin that came along with it. Watching a porn that Gabe and Elizabeth from Pornocracy made really helped. Elizabeth had recently gone through the same sort of body transformation as I had. And, watching her on the screen, and seeing how beautiful she was while having sex, made me realize how seeing non model type bodies makes things more real and beautiful for me.

I have been in discussions with a few people about a book project with models of all types, especially those that have been ignored by “mainstream.” How many people would be interested in a project like this? Either buying the finished product or modeling for it?

I am having issues.

I always have issues My issues are a very integral part of who I am. But these issues are how I want to present myself.

I started this blog as a sex blog. Both because I was having awesome sex, and that this was previously my porn domain, and because I wanted to have an in with the NYC porn bloggers.

Now that I am in a relationship? I do not necessarily want to talk about the awesome sex that I am having. It would make an awesome porno, and very hot erotica. But, I do not write erotica very well.

I have stated many places that I am a statistics and research geek. I am also very passionate about many topics, including size and fat acceptance, general acceptance of all individuals and groups, and how sex positive thinking will change the world.

I also feel like a fraud when talking about these topics. I advocate not discriminating against those with STIs, which is contrary to every safer sex message out there. I advocate thinking in sociological and statistical terms, which is contrary to the individualistic nature that most Americans have. I argue for fat and size acceptance, which is the hardest one to get through to people.

Is blogging about this worth it? Will constantly fighting against current wisdom be a worthy struggle for me? Wouldnt my life just be happier if I accepted the status quo and stopped fighting?

I say no, as much pain and grief it would give me.