StacyCat’s World of Thought

I am fat. I used to be more fat, and I used to be less fat. But, I am my current body, and I am fat.

An excellent post came across my feed reader at Everyday Sociology. The blog post details several of the reasons why the ideal women’s body shape and size has been influenced by the media and by the social environment.

Several people point out that larger women are the ideal in many countries around the world. Many of these countries, and indeed within history, those in impoverished economic conditions prefer those who are larger, as a symbol of abundance. The article above points out that in the middle of the Great Depression, magazine articles were about weight gain, and not weight loss.

So, ponder why we let the media dictate our preferences. Why do we let the media get away with it?

As my Twitter said: I am such a dork. I get a hitachi stuck inside me, and all I can think about is “This is so going on the blog.”

And, yes, I thought that while it was happening.

My partner had finished fucking me, but I had not had an orgasm yet. I came earlier today, so I knew it would be hard to orgasm during intercourse, but I wanted one after he was finished.

I asked for the hitachi. My partner cornered me in the crook of his arm and neck, so I could not see anything. He started in on biting my neck while holding the hitachi to my clit.

I asked for my silicone dildo. Its small, well, about five inches.. He put it inside me, and kept with the hitachi on my clit. After a few, he took the hitachi and put it on the base of the dildo. It felt amazing. I asked him to bite me, and that was yummy ( I am exploring orgasms with pain

And, ya know, after that, it got a bit fuzzy. I felt pressure, and I felt vibrations. I even felt my cervix vibrating (interesting experience.) I thought the dildo was still inside me, so I asked him to take it out.

“Its out of you, you pushed it out a while ago.”

Hmm. I asked, “Is the hitachi all the way in me?” He asked “Can you not feel it?”

After a few more minutes of that, I came. Very hard. It was awesome.

And then? It was stuck. Now, granted, fists and hitachis can’t get stuck inside someone, it goes in and it can come out. During orgasm and muscle contractions, the vagina can make a semi vacuum. In this instance, it is a so called simple proposition for the vagina holder to push, and then even large objects can come free.

It does not take into account the exhaustion felt after thirty minutes of fucking and a good ten to fifteen minutes of a powerful hitachi on ones parts. I was so exhausted after the sex and the orgasms, the thought of pushing was out of reach.

Until it started hurting. Then I could push.

My cunt hurts. But it was awesome!

Ive been pondering many things lately. (Along with a move!)

I remember a while ago when a Livejournal Community attacked a sex blogger over her use of “biocock.” Their reasoning tended to be along the lines of “it is still my cock, even if it is not my flesh and blood.”

And I agree. But I do not think the “general public” does.

I took a Women’s Studies class. We watched a film about a FTM. In the film, he discussed how to disclose his status to his dating partners, and at what point in the relationship to talk about it. After the film, during the discussion, one of my classmates said that if she were dating a guy that was a FTM, who didnt tell her, that the guy would be lying.

I asked her if she would feel the same outrage over a dating partner who previously had a penis, but whose penis was removed during an accident. She did not feel the same outrage about that. Which seems to mean, for her (and, most likely many other people), it is all about the current or former presence of a cock.

It is about the penis. Apparently, to many people, it is the presence of a flesh and blood penis makes a “man.” And, this distinction is typically from one’s childhood, as MTFs are commonly referred to as “she used to have a dick!” The body of a female is not necessarily defined as having a vagina, but rather the absence of a penis. (In discussions about intersexuality, it previously was the size of the penis/clitoris at birth that determines the sex of the child.)

In addition, many people, when faced with a transgender person, want to know the status of their genitals. As if their vagina or penis is the final verdict of their sex, and that we can deal with a masculine looking woman as a woman, rather than as a man (because, after all, it is their lack of a cock that makes them not a man). Because, again, it is reduced to their genitals, rather than their gender.

How to we change gender perceptions from genitals to gender? Sociology classes, and many other social sciences make a firm distinction between biological sex (which is murky enough), and social and individual gender. But, how do we expand this concept into the mainstream? How do we get across the idea assuming the status of another genitals, or that people are entitled to know the state of anothers genitals? As many of my transgender friends have said to idiots asking about it, “Do you go up to a random person on the street and ask about their pussy or dick?”

So, how can we change this?

I attended a lovely tea party this weekend, hosted by Viviane. I finally got to meet the infamous Jefferson, who was famous before I met him.

I had a discussion on sex blogs, and the purpose of them, and having a dedicated sex blog vs a more general life one. Which made me think of the purpose of my blog.

The purpose of my blog is to make you think.

I dont write about all of my sexual escapades. (There would be far too many to write, and I am very happy about that.) But, as sex focused as I am, my life is not all about sex.

However, I do think that one needs to integrate their sexuality into their daily lives. Sex positive thinking permeates all aspects of our lives, because it affects all parts of our lives. If we can be confident in our sexual lives, if we can communicate to partners our likes and dislikes, if we can not be ashamed of our sexual feelings, these factors all translate into better functioning in one’s life. And this is the purpose for the blog. To change the world through sex positive thinking.

So, posts on Racism, cisgender privilege, the funny things in my blackberry (such as, the spell check recognizes “orgies” but not “orgasm,” and what that says about our culture), all of these relate to a better and more positive world view.

And I promise to write more sex stuff

I love statistics.

I loved quantitative methods. My thesis used advanced multi-variable STATA statistics, and I loved it. Figuring out that I can put all these numbers together to get real meaning out of it, ah, that was lovely.

I also make a few decisions in my life based on statistics, and I think it is where I differ from some other people.

One cannot keep themselves completely safe from everything that can kill or harm them. Everyone makes their own choices of what we do to keep ourselves safe.

Some of us choose to take safer sex measures and do not require months of testing from our partners. Some may require some tests but not others, others insist on testing but dont actually know what they are testing for, and some just say “fuck it” and dont take any precautions.

Statistically, some of these choices, on average, may protect the individuals from contracting an STI. Statistically, even if you are doing everything possible, you can get an STI. The real question lies in where on the spectrum you are.

Some take the viewpoint that any STI is going to be a life changing horrifying experience, and thus they do not partake in any sexual play with anyone else. Some say that condoms protect against most, and they are okay with it. Some people care about herpes, some about HPV, some about HIV/AIDS, and these affect the sexual choices that we make.

Yes, I used to do porn. Online pornography. Hardcore, fetish, cute little pictures, etc. This domain, in fact, used to be my porn website.

I stopped, because it was not fun anymore. Rather, I stopped because my partner at the time was not supportive of it, and I had no time to do pictures, and no photographer to do them.

Still, I kinda miss it. There is no good porn out there with fat girls doing BDSM. (I am told that there is one in the works, which will be AWESOME!)

I also think that pornography can be a good thing, provided that one is willing to view a variety of images. If the only thing that you look at are small blond girls who like fucking strangers, then you will become accustomed to that type of pornography, and it might have detrimental effects if you are dating, say, a beautiful fat girl with big tits. (Then again, it may not, it might provide variety. But, like with my advice for masturbation and sex: if you only do it one way, it becomes much harder to do it other ways.)

So, take a look at porn. Look at lots of porn. Enjoy a wide variety of porn. Your sex life will thank you.

Posted January 7th, 2007

Wow.

Normally, I dont find myself in the middle of two beautiful women. Apparently, one of my friends that collects women (in a good way) has hyped me up to the point that I am almost automatically accepted with whomever he dates. So, joining them while naked on the floor is an okay occurrence. (I always check with them, if not occupied, or with my other friend to make sure its okay before just jumping in.)

I went to a BDSM party last night. I started the night beating my friends ass, then putting (and taking off, and pulling off) clothespins from his cock and balls. There is just something very erotic about causing pain to someone else (with their consent, of course). Of course, I get extremely horny from sadism. I have also been in the mood for rough sex, but didnt have anyone there that I could fulfill that with.

So, I went upstairs to where my friend and his girls were, and they had picked up a new couple to the party. The female part of the couple was sort of kneeling on her knees, but bent over, so her breasts were really shown off. She has beautiful breasts with very long and suckable nipples, and creamy skin that I loved to lick and kiss. To make it easier, this woman was in white underwear. The other girl was in red underwear. She also has beautiful breasts, short “freshly fucked” hair (that just makes most women seem more beautiful), and the ability to orgasm without direct stimulation, just a verbal cue.

So, it started out with me enjoying the view up close, touching both of the women, just soft touching and slight nipple tweaks. The red underwear’s boyfriend motioned to me, and said to whisper “cum” in her ear. I leaned over, grabbed her hair, and said “Cum.” She did, of course. That instance brought me more into the other girls, and all three of us were licking, biting and sucking on each other. We moved on to the bed, the girl in red had a few more orgasms; the girl in white discovered my piercings and loved them! Since I was both giving out some pain and accepting some from her, she asked which role I preferred to play. I said, “For you, you are so beautiful, I would be whatever you want me to be.” We then discussed with her Dom about how hard it is to find people that you are comfortable switching with. We then learned that she had never had an orgasm through a vibrator, so we retired to a bedroom to introduce her to the Hitachi (the best sex toy ever

In the bedroom, we put the girl in white on her back, with me on one side, the girl in red on the other, and the guys were down on the lower half. Us girls were all kissing on each other, sucking and biting nipples, rubbing over each other, basically sensual stuff (with biting). After we had been playing a while, she wasnt cumming with the Hitachi, so I reached down there with my fingers to provide extra stimulation. First, I played around the clit to de-intensify some of the vibrations, then inside her pussy to play with her GSpot. I had forgotten what a cool experience it was to have my hands inside a woman. It felt amazing.

Eventually, she got tired of the sensations, and we stopped. I dont think she came, which is a big shame Then, it was my turn!

Honestly, I do not remember most of it! I didnt have an orgasm, but I was at that point just underneath it, where everything felt pleasurable. I’ll hit the highlights, in no particular order.

Biting. I have to remember that telling a vanilla that I like it rough will get me almost what I want, whereas telling that to someone into BDSM gets my nipple very very sore! (In a good way, just slightly harder than I usually like it). She bit me. Hard. Bit my nipples, bit my thighs, even bit the top part of my labia right above my clit. Man, that hurt, but in such a good way.

Using the Hitachi like a strap on. There was a point that she was leaning over me, probably to bite my nipples, and had the vibrator sandwiched between us. Add a little rocking motion, and it was very very nice.

Almost fisting. I define fisting as wrist deep, what I was able to do with my ex girlfriend. So far, no one has succeeded in doing that to me. This woman got the furthest, just slightly past her knuckles, but it was still kinda painful. However, I had her boyfriend and another playmate of mine distracting me by biting my neck and playing with my nipples, so that helped. Also, being able to grab onto her boyfriend and brace myself was very cool. So, I guess I’ll only be fisted in a group situation Which can be nice!

I think thats it!

Originally posted January 5th, 2007

My friend invited himself over to cook me breakfast/lunch. Wonderful dish of balsamic vinegar glazed chicken breasts with pasta. It was really good! I may have to get balsamic vinegar to try cooking with it.

We started off casually, on the couch. I really wasnt planning on things happening. Honestly! We had a few discussions about how he found me attractive, and how we shared the same views on sex and having fun with it. I ended up with my head in his lap watching the Simpsons, then it went to touching, and it went from there

So, the touching clothing turned into touching skin, which turned into showing off the nipple piercings, which turned into biting and kissing Which, ahem, turned into me squeezing his cock while he rubbed my clit. Nice!

He is also slightly into CBT (well, CT, doesnt like pain in his balls) so I got to give a lovely blow job, in which he was controlling the speed and depth of penetration, yet I was able to use my teeth. I love switchy type play like that!

He ended up giving me an orgasm with his fingers. He said that my wetness was getting halfway up his arm (probably more from the motions rather than ejaculation). We cuddled for a little bit, then he jacked off and came on my back. Its been quite a while since Ive had cum on me, so that was nice.

I have been in the mood for really rough sex recently. Throat grabs (not cutting off air, just slight pressure), biting, being held down, fast and hard pounding, etc. This guy is open to most of it, so I think as the sexual relationship develops, I might get more of it!

Previously posted December 19, 2006.

It started out with breakfast this morning. I was chatting with a new guy I had met, and we discussed his particular fetish. Nothing that I havent heard of, but it was something that I would be interested in trying. So, I had been horny for a few hours before Current came over.

I met him at the door with a tiger print silk dress and purple cat ears I was definitely in a playful mood, and it showed. My roommate had moved out the week prior, and I wanted to fuck on the couch. After a brief makeout session, and discussion about suitable landing materials, we commenced fucking. When we tried to change positions, he lost his erection.

No worries, we moved into the bedroom. From there (interspersed with non-sexual conversations), we proceeded to have the most amazing manual sex ever. He had his fingers in me for the good portion of an hour. He would hold my hands above my head while he kissed and bit my upper half, going from nipples to underarms and breasts, to my neck, each time feeling my pussy contract as he alternatively tickled and caused pain. I was in my gushing stage (I tend to gush before I orgasm, not at the same time) and was amused at the juice droplets hitting my thighs from the vigorous thrusting.

His arms were tired before I orgasmed, so he took my blue vibrator and proceeded to fuck me with it. Nice deep hard penetration, all the while still holding my hands down and biting me. Mmmm, it felt awesome! He was down between my legs with an awesome close up of the toy going in and out of my vagina, watching how it reacted. His own personal and private porno!

I still was not orgasming, so we took a short break while we talked about mundane things again. After a while, I brought out my big Hitachi vibrator. No one else has been able to touch me with it because it has such strong vibrations. We had both the Hitachi on my clit and the big blue vibrator going in and out of my pussy, and I finally came.

It was an awesome orgasm! The hours long build up, combined with not having masturbated for almost a week, and having a manual orgasm instead of an intercourse one lead to the laughing! He said he wished he felt the levels of emotions that I feel during sex, because it was awesome how hard I laughed. He also said I smelled sweet while I was gushing.

But, alas, it shall be until the New Year until we get together again. Such is the life of a slut.

I will be on a sex blogger panel at TESFest! It is Saturday at 3:30 to 5pm. Later that night is a BBW Swim (11pm) , hosted by my friend and moderator of said sex blogger panel, Wendy Blackheart.

One Day Passes are available at the hotel, Saturday is $90, which includes all of the Saturday classes, the dungeon, all of the events, and the pool parties You can still sign up for the full event, from Thursday to Sunday night, for 195, or two days for 145 (prices for TES members are cheaper.)

In honor of being on a sex blogger panel, I will be posting some of my previous sex writing Enjoy that over the next few days until the panel