StacyCat’s World of Thought

Originally posted January 5th, 2007

My friend invited himself over to cook me breakfast/lunch. Wonderful dish of balsamic vinegar glazed chicken breasts with pasta. It was really good! I may have to get balsamic vinegar to try cooking with it.

We started off casually, on the couch. I really wasnt planning on things happening. Honestly! We had a few discussions about how he found me attractive, and how we shared the same views on sex and having fun with it. I ended up with my head in his lap watching the Simpsons, then it went to touching, and it went from there

So, the touching clothing turned into touching skin, which turned into showing off the nipple piercings, which turned into biting and kissing Which, ahem, turned into me squeezing his cock while he rubbed my clit. Nice!

He is also slightly into CBT (well, CT, doesnt like pain in his balls) so I got to give a lovely blow job, in which he was controlling the speed and depth of penetration, yet I was able to use my teeth. I love switchy type play like that!

He ended up giving me an orgasm with his fingers. He said that my wetness was getting halfway up his arm (probably more from the motions rather than ejaculation). We cuddled for a little bit, then he jacked off and came on my back. Its been quite a while since Ive had cum on me, so that was nice.

I have been in the mood for really rough sex recently. Throat grabs (not cutting off air, just slight pressure), biting, being held down, fast and hard pounding, etc. This guy is open to most of it, so I think as the sexual relationship develops, I might get more of it!

Ive been weird with impact play, so when a new friend and I were discussing how to play, he brought out his knives.

I know that knives do not cut. But, it is very sensual and only slightly painful. I closed my eyes for most of it, because it heightens the sensation.

I occasionally open my eyes to look into his eyes. He enjoys this. One of those times he starts toying with my nipple, telling me how he should take home a souvenir for the evening.

Ah, the mind fuck. The rational part of me says “no, he would never do that.” The subspacey part of me thinks “could he really do that” and it gets hot.

He bends my neck over and starts using the knife on the back of my head, near my hairline. Which feels nice. He says “hold still, this one can cut hair.”

Of course, no one would cut my hair without my permission. Oh, this is another one of those mind fucks. I’ll just giggle along with it.

Until he pulls me up and says “This used to be on your head.”

First, within the right relationship with the right person, there are very few things that are off limits. However, it takes a good deal of time and patience and discussion before I get to that point.

With one of my longer term partners, he and I have been discussing resistance play.

The idea of saying no, and having them continue, is really hot to me. I also have a safeword, so if I Really need them to stop, they will. Most commonly, safewords are Yellow (for slow down), and Red for stop everything.

Someone bit me at a party. (Same from last post). I went through “Ow” then “Oh fuck,” then Yellow. Why didnt I say stop? He would have if I said it. But I chose a safeword rather than plain language. Safewords are understood, whereas Stop can have some ambiguity in meaning (in BDSM and resistance play). But, I have become used to using them.

My partner likes the idea of knowing his partner has a safeword, and will use it. It allows him to be more forceful and aggressive during play. However, I had an internal issue with agreeing to that type of play, but using a common safeword for things to stop would ruin the emotion.

As with many sexual problems, the answer came to me during masturbation.

My friend was telling a story about her Master tickling her. She was in a relationship in which she gave up the use of safewords. He was tickling her, and she used the word Red. He said “Aww, how cute, you think you have a safeword” and continued to tickle her.

I think in a type of resistance play, I would use the words yellow and red along with stop and no, as I have associated these with stopping in my head. Thus, I would need to have another safeword for “absolutely stop,” and use yellow and red for the “Something is up but please dont stop.”

Something shorter than antidisestablishmentarianism

Since I can spin some elaborate fantasies in my head, I thought it would be worth it to write them down. Not only for my own gratification, and the titillation of you, my dear readers, but for the enjoyment of those that I might let act these out.

Please note: I am into consensual non consent, but only with those that I trust implicitly. Actually, I am into a whole lot of things, but only with those that I trust. So, these are not things that I would be willing to act out with new partners, or people I have just met, or random people from the street.

I am also into some masochistic things, but this is something that I am still exploring, and stuff that sounds awesome in my head may not translate well into actual practice.

Lastly: I am into Age play. My, um, partner (yes, an um partner is kinda like an um friend, and its complicated.) likes creepy things. So, a daddy/daughter dynamic fits that well. So, I know that the further out my fantasies go, the more into them he will be.

So, here are some of the scenarios that have gone through my head.

Getting caught. For a while, a lot of my fantasies have involved being watched or being caught. I think it would be a hot scenario for “daddy” to be watching me, then force me to do things with him.

Being forced. I have been playing around with the idea of resistance play and being forced.

The current one is my little voluntarily playing with daddy, and then daddy forcing himself into my ass. Mmm, hotness. This one gets a little more elaborate. I do not have a specific “age” for my little self. I find that it varies depending on the scenario and how I am feeling. My partner likes me around early teenage-ish years. He enjoys the aspect that the little has her own sexual desires and thoughts, but not too old to have explored a lot of them. So, for instance, this scenario would involve me coming home from, say, sex ed, and asking a question about anatomy. Or saying that sex ed didn’t say anything about how good it feels. Of which I then show daddy as he shows me more things that feel good. Of course, since daddy 1) doesnt want his girl getting pregnant, and 2) is just a sadistic bastard, he fucks me in the ass. And, of course, since daddy is a sadistic fuck, he enjoys making me hurt, making his little girl feel pain, and, especially, making me ask for it.

I think that is enough of a trip into my mind.