(Originally posted February 26th, 2007)
(Any time I say “my therapist says” it is a paraphrase of how I heard it.)
My therapist says that I should focus on getting the type of primary relationship that I want, and not put energy into other, less fulfilling relationships. Shes also suggest that I find a regular fuck buddy to get my sexual needs met. So confused 
So, I am attempting to write out a list of the types of guys that i want to date, in terms of relationship styles. I already have a list of the types of guys, based on physical and personality traits Here
Fuck buddy. This is someone that I would otherwise be uncompatable dating (aka, have nothing in common, larger age difference, etc) but loves fucking me. They still must love cuddling. One of my best fuck buddy relationships, I didnt like the guy all that much, he was at the upper limit of my age range, we only really spoke late at night (we met online, met in a bar, then mostly chatted online) before he would come over to my place. Typically, we would fuck, cuddle for a while, fuck again, then he would leave and I would go to sleep.
Friends with benefits. This is someone that I can go out and have a good time with, and then come home and fuck. Sexual appetite and drive is still the highest selection feature on this, I dislike being sexually rejected, so most of the times that we would go out, I would want sex to be involved. “Going out” can be restaurants (usually), parties, poly dinners, the like.
Play partners. These fall between the two above. Either they dont live close enough to have a steady relationship, or its a speciality BDSM type relationship, or its a more opportunistic play session rather than a planned one. People that I see at parties and play with then, or people that I see rarely due to distance, fall into this category.
Secondary relationships. These are emotional relationships with someone that is already in an established couple. I expect dates, I expect good sex, and I expect to be treated as a partner to the person I am dating. If their other partner does not like me, then we really cant fall into this category (but we could fall into one of the upper categories.)
Primary relationship. These is a more emotionally involved relationship with someone that does not already have a primary partner. Yes, I know that there can be more than two people in a primary type relationship, but thats not really something that I am looking for at the moment. I want to be the primary person that my partner is emotionally involved and interested in. Yes, this is selfish, but they (and I) can have the above relationships.
What does a primary involve? Really, more emotional commitment and expectations. The desire to want to be with me, to be involved in my life, to want to share things with me, etc.