StacyCat’s World of Thought

Originally posted January 5th, 2007

My friend invited himself over to cook me breakfast/lunch. Wonderful dish of balsamic vinegar glazed chicken breasts with pasta. It was really good! I may have to get balsamic vinegar to try cooking with it.

We started off casually, on the couch. I really wasnt planning on things happening. Honestly! We had a few discussions about how he found me attractive, and how we shared the same views on sex and having fun with it. I ended up with my head in his lap watching the Simpsons, then it went to touching, and it went from there

So, the touching clothing turned into touching skin, which turned into showing off the nipple piercings, which turned into biting and kissing Which, ahem, turned into me squeezing his cock while he rubbed my clit. Nice!

He is also slightly into CBT (well, CT, doesnt like pain in his balls) so I got to give a lovely blow job, in which he was controlling the speed and depth of penetration, yet I was able to use my teeth. I love switchy type play like that!

He ended up giving me an orgasm with his fingers. He said that my wetness was getting halfway up his arm (probably more from the motions rather than ejaculation). We cuddled for a little bit, then he jacked off and came on my back. Its been quite a while since Ive had cum on me, so that was nice.

I have been in the mood for really rough sex recently. Throat grabs (not cutting off air, just slight pressure), biting, being held down, fast and hard pounding, etc. This guy is open to most of it, so I think as the sexual relationship develops, I might get more of it!

Previously posted December 19, 2006.

It started out with breakfast this morning. I was chatting with a new guy I had met, and we discussed his particular fetish. Nothing that I havent heard of, but it was something that I would be interested in trying. So, I had been horny for a few hours before Current came over.

I met him at the door with a tiger print silk dress and purple cat ears I was definitely in a playful mood, and it showed. My roommate had moved out the week prior, and I wanted to fuck on the couch. After a brief makeout session, and discussion about suitable landing materials, we commenced fucking. When we tried to change positions, he lost his erection.

No worries, we moved into the bedroom. From there (interspersed with non-sexual conversations), we proceeded to have the most amazing manual sex ever. He had his fingers in me for the good portion of an hour. He would hold my hands above my head while he kissed and bit my upper half, going from nipples to underarms and breasts, to my neck, each time feeling my pussy contract as he alternatively tickled and caused pain. I was in my gushing stage (I tend to gush before I orgasm, not at the same time) and was amused at the juice droplets hitting my thighs from the vigorous thrusting.

His arms were tired before I orgasmed, so he took my blue vibrator and proceeded to fuck me with it. Nice deep hard penetration, all the while still holding my hands down and biting me. Mmmm, it felt awesome! He was down between my legs with an awesome close up of the toy going in and out of my vagina, watching how it reacted. His own personal and private porno!

I still was not orgasming, so we took a short break while we talked about mundane things again. After a while, I brought out my big Hitachi vibrator. No one else has been able to touch me with it because it has such strong vibrations. We had both the Hitachi on my clit and the big blue vibrator going in and out of my pussy, and I finally came.

It was an awesome orgasm! The hours long build up, combined with not having masturbated for almost a week, and having a manual orgasm instead of an intercourse one lead to the laughing! He said he wished he felt the levels of emotions that I feel during sex, because it was awesome how hard I laughed. He also said I smelled sweet while I was gushing.

But, alas, it shall be until the New Year until we get together again. Such is the life of a slut.

I will be on a sex blogger panel at TESFest! It is Saturday at 3:30 to 5pm. Later that night is a BBW Swim (11pm) , hosted by my friend and moderator of said sex blogger panel, Wendy Blackheart.

One Day Passes are available at the hotel, Saturday is $90, which includes all of the Saturday classes, the dungeon, all of the events, and the pool parties You can still sign up for the full event, from Thursday to Sunday night, for 195, or two days for 145 (prices for TES members are cheaper.)

In honor of being on a sex blogger panel, I will be posting some of my previous sex writing Enjoy that over the next few days until the panel

I was reading another blog which referenced a post at The Frisky titled Is it Necessary to Always Tell Partners About Your STD Status

Short answer: Yes.

Longer answer. I am a slut, and I can have sex with many people within a short period of time. I dont necessarily ask about STD status before getting sexually involved with an individual. I always use condoms with partners, and I have never been diagnosed with an STI.

If a partner asks me about my STD status, my typical response is “I was tested on X date for X STIs, and have had sex with X number of people since.” If that is too high risk for the other people, then we dont have sex. Easy.

I did have an instance in which a person did not disclose their HSV2 status to me. I waited three months to get tested (because it takes that long to show, usually), but I also didnt have the chance to be slutty in that timeframe. But, I worried about HSV2 and the non disclosure, when I have had plenty of partners with HSV1 and they didnt mention it. Why is one more serious than the other?

I am lucky that I tend to hang out with a crowd that does disclose their HSV1 status, sometimes. But I also dont worry about it. So many people have HSV1 and HPV that I would severely limit my sexual partners if I chose not to sleep with individuals who had it. That does not seem to be a good choice on my part, but it is perfectly acceptable to those that have undergone their own risk analysis.

But part of the destigmatization of STIs is the normalization of disclosure. If people are freely disclosing their HSV1 and HPV status (if known), then having frank conversations about the nature of herpes and HPV may lead to less stigmatization of HSV2 and other STIs. Because stigma leads to people not getting tested for herpes, and to individuals not disclosing their STI status if they are known.

4 Days Left to Register Online for TES Fest 2009!

The Eulenspiegel Society is proud to bring you four days of nonstop perverted fun. Pull up a seat in one of over 80 classes and learn from expert presenters from all around this great nation. Join your fellow kinksters in celebrating America’s freedom with a menagerie of special events that will tickle anyone’s fancy. And don’t forget to stimulate the economy (and yourself) by spending time in the vending area and our world-class dungeon.

Online registration closes on Sunday, June 28th at 11:59 PM EST. After that, you will be able to register at the event itself. Hotel rooms are going fast. If you don’t register ahead of time, we can’t guarantee you space in the host hotel if it sells out, but we will help you find a room at a neighboring hotel.

Go to www.tesfest.org and register before Sunday at 11:59 PM. Join us as we celebrate our Independence with a bang!

I am buying rope here in the next week or so. May not be here before TESFest, though.

But, I am also buying a large enough quantity that I can sell a few pieces. I am seeing if there is any interest in a particular color before I place my order.

I am looking at 5/16ths Solid Braid MFP (Multifilament Polypropylene). Color choices are either navy blue, Kelly green, burgundy, silver, aqua, teal, or purple. (I am leaning towards the purple, but could be swayed to any of these

Sale price would be .25 cents a foot, cut and ends finished (by burning). Delivery at almost any Kink event in the NYC area, or at another mutually agreeable NYC location. I could ship elsewhere, probably for 10 bucks Priority Mail.

If you would like some rope, let me know what color(s) you would like

TESFest is an annual event in New Jersey, hosted by The Eulenspiegel Society . It will be held July 2nd to 5th. This will be my first year attending, as I am recently transplanted to this part of the country.

Why am I attending?

Naked Pool Time.

The ability to swim naked is one of life’s biggest luxuries. To swim naked around a bunch of kinky perverts just makes it delicious

Sitting in the hot tub after my ass gets beat just means my Sadist can be more sadistic towards me

But, TESFest is so much more than naked pool time. Kinksters take over the entire hotel, nudity is allowed in a lot of places. You dont have to wonder if that cute person in the elevator is kinky You can attend classes by a lot of presenters, and learn about kink from a variety of different viewpoints. You can attend as a newbie and learn many new skills, you can attend as a veteran and learn many new skills. You can hone those skills in workshops and on the floor.

Debauched Diva wanted to know the motivations for attending. While I have not attended TESFest in particular, I have attended kinky events, including Dark Odyssey. And, whatever my primary motivations for attending these events were, what I got out of them, and why I go back, changes every event.

Interestingly enough, after rereading my Dark Odyssey post, what I got from the event, as far as what it means about my submissiveness in my own relationship, is a good reason why I am attending TESFest. Not only is my partner coming with me, he has plans for me as well

So, is it the classes? The people I will meet or play/fuck/cuddle/laugh with? The awesome dungeon space? The naked swimming? Yes. All of the above, in singular and in multiple.

You could come! Check out TESFest.org for more information.

SarahSloane Wrote a great piece about kink and real life.

I would like to highlight number 2.

2. Negotiation – if you can’t go back to a cash register to have an overcharged item corrected & get the refund, you shouldn’t be negotiating play or sex, either.

Besides the “should” language, the comparison is a good one. I would argue that the ability to negotiate play and sex will lead to more assertiveness in daily life, but perhaps it is the opposite, or a reciprocal effect.

Speaking up for yourself tends to be a virtue that not many people are told. Its not an inconvenience to get what is rightfully yours, it is not a bother to ask for the sex and safer sex that you want.

My main premise behind my campaign for stigma reduction is that stigma affects how individuals act. Typically, a reduction in stigma will result in an increase in positive and healthy behaviors.

I was reading a blog about passive barriers. The author used the idea that women dont carry condoms as a point.

Our safer sex education, while sorely lacking, seems to have done a pretty good job equating condoms with safer sex. However, the society at large also has equated condoms with sex itself, which is still stigmatized and shamed.

http://www.latrobe.edu.au/ssay/assets/downloads/meaning%20safe%20sex.pdf

The Australian teenagers in this study showed that girls had harder times buying condoms and carrying them, because of the social stigma against girls and sex. Boys were more likely to purchase and carry condoms, because they could easily play it off as experimentation, or that they are allowed to have sex without social ruin.

Both genders expressed issues with condom discussions, because it typically meant that intercourse was desired. (I once answered a question about “How did I know my partner consented” with “when he puts on a condom.”) The condom is the last barrier to sex negotiations, and typically is not discussed because it means *gasp* that the people want to have sex.

Interestingly enough, over the entire sample (which 60% did not have intercourse), most believed that the girl was the one to supply the condom.

One of the ways that we can slow the growth of STIs, and reduce unwanted pregnancies, is by sex positive education. If teenagers (especially girls, but everyone needs to know) are able to communicate with their partners without stigma and shame, they can make more empowered decisions about their health.

This was originally posted in my livejournal. You are free to argue with me over any of these points, in fact, I welcome the arguments.

This is a very ethnocentric viewpoint, in that I am specifically speaking about American culture in the United States.

1) All white people are racist.
1a)Racism is not a dichotomous category, its not are you racist or are you not. Racism is a continuum, between more racist and less racist. By giving up the idea that someone can be “not racist,” everyone is able to examine why they might be racist, and where they fall on that spectrum. By continuing to use the “racist/not racist” dichotomy, one does not examine what things they are doing that might be a result of growing up in the institutional racism system.

2) Racism is institutional, and systemic.

3) White people are the racist ones in the American system, because white people have the current, and historical power.

4) Other races may have prejudices against other races, however, without the institutional power, they are not “racist.” Racism= prejudice + power.

5) Class has a lot to do with it. There are some things that I think are the result of socioeconomic. However, minorities are overrepresented in lower classes, and underrepresented in upper classes. This is because of institutional racism.
5a) This was rebutted by using “demographic inertia” as a cause of the educational/income gap among minorities. As such demographic inertia was caused by actual racist practices, I still count this among institutional racism.
5ai)In addition, there are several instances where black people are given worse interest rates in loans, specifically car and home loans, so that even with the same credit and income, they cannot afford as much as a white person with the same credit and income, due to higher interest rates.
5aii)There are also many instances of real estate agents showing black people and white people different homes, even with the same pre-approved mortgage amount. These are examples of how institutional racism perpetuates in society.

6) Insinuating that black people are poor (or, more specifically, poor black people are poor) because they are lazy is insulting. By saying that the reason why poor people are poor is because they do not work hard enough, you are saying that white people do work hard enough, which is not necessarily the same thing. Poor blacks have to work much harder to achieve the same levels of prosperity as whites.

There are barriers that many people have to overcome. Until the same amount of effort produces the same results for all races, there is institutional racism.

7) White privilege is an extension of the institutional racism in society. This might be mediated by other ways you are disadvantaged, and there are other ways in which you are privileged (say, cisgender privilege, educational privilege, shape privilege), it does not negate the fact that if you are white, you carry privilege on the basis of that race.